Mouth of babes

On the back of my grumbling about going to church on Sunday and then enjoying the service, the exit from the car park proved to be quite hilarious.

I was backing out really slowly as there was a family with a little girl right next to me and I wanted to make sure that I did not hurt anyone.  My window was down when the little one declared in afrikaans, "Jy moet altyd weer kom!" (You must always come again!)

Well I giggled all the way home at God's humorous reminder not to neglect my Sunday church attendance. 

Heeheehee!

A lesson from Barnabas

I'll admit that I had to drag my feet to go to church this morning and leave Ginger at home as I absolutely hate spending time apart from him now.  This mornings message however was one I really needed to hear.  Trevor Hudson is a regular preacher at Mosaic and I love his good old fashioned Methodist preaching.  

Today Trevor preached about Barnabas and what an amazing impact this seldom discussed man had on the early church and that his primary gift was that of being an encourager.  Barnabas played a key role of encouragement in both the lives of Paul and Mark and if it had not been for his ministry and encouragement in their lives, they may well not have contributed to the writing of the gospels in the way they did.  

In the backdrop of life and the difficulties we face it can be really hard to stay positive, especially if like me you are dealing with grief.  In my own life I have seen this play out in the world of my writing as over the past 6 years I have been open about writing through my difficult moments.  Rather than building walls around us we should be building bridges that help to connect people to each other and God.  We need to learn to have open conversations with people and be able to give them affirmation and appreciation. 

Walkies

Every day now since Honey has passed I have been taking Ginger out for walks to our complex park as he is a little more hesitant now to venture out on his own.  Tonight I went to art group and really wanted to skip that part of the routine, but Ginger was having none of it.  He meowed my ears off until I relented and took him out. 

Although I freeze every time, it really is good for me too as seeing him happy is helping me move forward.  It is not going to be easy but I want to try and find other ways to express my grief rather than crying all the time.  Crying is good to a point, but it is totally draining and leaves me feeling depressed and I really believe that Honey would not have wanted that.  He existed in my life to be my companion and I know that if he could talk to me know he would tell me that he wants me to be happy.

Scordatura

Scordatura - A latin word meaning "to bring into agreement or tune," but also the name of a short experimental film that my nephew, Daniel Bate, had a hand in making.  This was part of his course at AFDA film school in Durban and our family had the pleasure of watching it at the schools third year experimental film festival on youth day.

It was a tale brilliantly told, if I say so myself (no, I'm not biased), but seriously it was really, really good!  The real kicker is that the entire story was told without dialogue, but the imagery and music told the chilling tale of a young woman who was murdered by her possessive boyfriend/husband.

Now I could complain about the fact that our film industry just has way too much violence in it, or I could be grateful that this short film showed in a chilling way the consequences of relationships that go bad and more importantly it highlighted the major problem of the fact that many, many woman are killed by the hands of their partners, which is an extension of our abusive society.

I truly believe that Daniel has a wonderful film career ahead of him and my prayer is that he will use his amazing God given talent to further the kingdom of God and tell the stories that need to be told.

When the heart weighs a ton

I arrived home from my weeks holiday in Durban yesterday, but I have never felt so torn when returning home.  I left behind my mom and family and I miss them dearly and the normal joy of seeing my babies was broken knowing that I now only have one little man to come home to.  I'm so delighted to be with Ginger, but the grief of losing his brother still weighs so heavily on my heart and more so when I am at home with Ginger. 

In some ways I think animals are born selfish and for the most part I think Ginger is only too happy to have me all to himself, but there are a few times when I do hear a distinct sadness in his meow and then I know he is missing Honey too.  They both played so boisterously together.  I am finding it hard to adjust to the new home routine as Ginger definitely demands more of my time in play and walks for exercise.

I guess I am learning what the empty nest syndrome feels like and I feel such guilt at grieving Honey when I still have one very beautiful baby with me. 

I can only pray that the Holy Spirit will comfort me with His love and support me through this major change of life that I am going through now.  I am praying that in the days ahead I will have the strength to celebrate life's beauty one again. 

Goodbye Honey-Bear

It has been 2 weeks now since I had to bid a sad farewell to my darling kitty Honey-Bear!  His passing was sudden as I had no idea that he was even sick but the little guy had been fighting both a heart and lung condition.  His departure left me totally shattered as I had no time to prepare to say goodbye. 

His beautiful life started in May 2005 when he was born to a stray kitty who had made herself home in my friends home.  Honey and Ginger have been my companions, friends and children for 11 years so far and Ginger and I miss Honey dearly.  More than that though I have enjoyed a bond with Honey that I have had with no other animal. 

Honey has been the only cat that has ever allowed me to look deeply into his eyes which is something cats never do as part of their survival instinct.  He allowed me to give him loving glances which was returned in his own way.  He allowed me to hug and cuddle him regularly and I miss holding his chubby little frame in my arms.

As I have released my darling cat into the arms of my heavenly father I believe my little man will be waiting for me when I eventually arrive in heaven myself. 

Until then it is farewell my little huggy cuddly Honey-Bear!  Mommy misses you my darling!